Three Dirty Dwarves
a videogame by Appaloosa Interactive Corp.
published by SegaSoft, Inc.
Earth will never be the same.
Humanity scared it forever.
We now have to create a new society,
this is our only hope.
Date 05/08/38 (after the Cataclysm)
It’s been two years now that you have been trying to fix this thing. Man, it’s just a stupid black box, forget it and come help us with the brahmin.
Date 05/10/38
I’m getting something here, I can hear the disc moving inside it! I just need one of these oscilloscope. I may have to travel to Central City mum.
Date 05/19/38
Look at this! “Three Dirty Dwarves Sega Saturn”, exactly the same as on the black box. From now on, we’ll call it a Sega Saturn.
Isn’t it a little bit long ? You can find something better mate!
I think we may have a first try tonight, are you sleeping here?
How dare you ask!
Date 05/22/38
Ok the first try nearly burned the tent down but I’m pretty sure it will work this time. Are you ready?
Of course, just turn it on you moron!
Later the same day
Oh dear god, this is amazing. I wish I could see the world before the cataclysm, look at this thing!
Note for my personal log: The Sega Saturn is now working, it looks like the box is playing the disc we put inside. We only have one which seems to be called Three Dirty Dwarves. We have 2 controllers so I can play with my friend!! That’s just amazing! We can also change it to three players in the option menu but the console only seems to have 2 plugs entry for the controller, that’s strange.
Note for my personal log: I will try to explain the concept here, you play 3 dirty dwarves through different places. You have to fight huge enemies and avoid traps in order to finish a level. Each dwarf has a ranged attack and a melee attack. If an enemy punch you, you are knocked down and have to change your character. you can wake up your teammates with a good buttkick but if all the three dwarves are knocked down together, you lose (Anachronistic Editor’s note: just like L4D, awesome :o)
Date 05/23/38
Hey mate, how is it going? Are we playing this thing again today?
This is a Sega Saturn, and the game is called Three Dirty Dwarves!
Ok, don’t angry!
You know, there is like a full animated movie in this thing, the first part was 10mn long, we watched it 5 times with my family yesterday.
Awesome!
Later the same day
Man, we have been stuck on this level since 2 hours, we’ll never do it!
Note for my personal log: It seems we can select a level from the option menu when we already finished it! That’s very cool, we can play the game exactly from where we stopped. Maybe all the Sega Saturn were kinda broken so they had to add this option (Anachronistic Editor’s note: In fact, Sega Saturn’s rival, the Sony Playstation was much more often broken).
Date 05/24/38
Hey mate, which dwarf is your favourite one? I looove the one with the gun, he is so powerful!!
I prefer the baseball player, you can fire 5 balls and destroy so much enemies.
Yeah but he is slow, you’re lame.
You’re lame! The shotgun one is the easiest one!
Wrong, timing is everything. Reloading takes ages but you can instant fire! Kaboom!
Note for my personal log: That’s strange, in this game you have soooo many different way to spend your skulls token in super attacks, but they all do the same thing, killing everybody on screen. I would have prefer more diversity! Maybe something to wake up all knocked down teammates…
Date 05/25/38
I’m trying the bowling dwarf today!
Crazy boy…
Note for my personal log: We found today a way to destroy everything on our way! The bowling dwarf is just overpowered! If you jump and throw your ball it utterly destroys everything on its way and takes much less time than throwing your it from the ground. I will try to optimize this combat strategy!
Date 05/26/38
How my god this game is hard! Without your bowling technic we couldn’t make it.
I love all the small animations you can see in the background, look at these prisoners *laughs*
Let’s try to shoot them. How my god, it’s working! (Anachronistic Editor’s note: up pad + ranged attack)
You mean… Awesome, we have to start the game from scratch right after we finish it, we can shoot everything in the background!
Note for my personal log: This game is really fun, I always discover some new stuff and the enemies look so stupid.
Date 05/27/38
This level is just crazy! We are attacked by naked ninja.
But they have a strange black square hiding their prick, what is it supposed to be?
Don’t know…
Date 05/28/38
Oh man, another single player stage! What’s the point of making a two player game if half of the level can only be played alone…
Don’t worry, we’ll swap every time we die. But I agree with you, that’s strange *laughs*.
Note for my personal log: The Sega Saturn has crashed again and totally melted this time, I think I must find a new one now…
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